Thursday, June 28, 2012

A Wild, Wild Two Finish!!

Pictured above, 10 year (count ‘em!) veteran Extravaganza guide Chris “Broke Down” Stroup  looks over the Twos at their final boat report—a report that set records for many, many reasons, not the least of which was the full circle metamorphosis of this veteran guide from one of our truly hard-ass Year One guides to now, well, the puddle that Lori “The Fawn” Ware and “Shanna  Banana” Rodgers (pictured above in the last of these pics for related but not relevant to this subject matters…but, yes, Montana matters!) left Broke Down in after three consecutive days of fishing with him…as I told BD’s wife Lori who was also present for the boat reports, five hours of counseling has been given to her hubby to (partially) atone for the E-12 damage.

 

First, as to the most serious of matters, the monikers of Steve “Montana Owes Me: Smith and John “Show Me” Comyns tempted the fates and humor of Mother Nature on Day Three when they approached the mid-section of the Blackfoot River under storm-brewing skies.  Well, Steve is still “owed” but John was sure “showed” when, shortly after putting in the water a massive and violent thunderstorm swept upstream (with them in its midst), creating wind devils on the parking lots and most amazingly a water spout of over 50’ in height coupled by 50-60 mph driven torrential rains...convincing them (properly) to get off the water pronto and head back into Missoula to (a) dry out—no rain suit had they…tut, tut, tut!...and (b) become the vey first to arrive at Hooter’s after having a “boat lunch” at the Iron Horse Restaurant in town, all of which earned them honorary Yellow Hats for having survived the Extravaganza’s first water spout ever, as shown above après fishing. 

Secondly, no sooner had the water spout been dealt with that Heidi “Tape Measure” Caldwell reported on the early day goings on in their bedroom.  It seems that hubby Scott “Stretch” Caldwell had taken out one of his E-12 measuring tapes and, a natural, was “measuring things” in his room.  More information than was needed to know at the time but, in honor of her boastful report , as pictorially shown separately on Der Blog, “Tape Measure” was awarded the first ever Monica Lewinski Circle C Cigar Award for making sure that “Stretch” lived up to his likewise new manly name.  Again, more information than was needed, but, between the Water spout Duo and Monica, it sure took up the first half hour of the Tattoos’ final day’s boat report even before the word “fish” had been mentioned!  In further pre-fish retort, “Montana Owes Me” stated that, due to the paucity of fish that his boat ever saw, he found that E-12 tape of his “the most worthless pocket tape” ever—but, with new instruction, perhaps this debonair bachelor would find better uses when he returns to his Orinda abode!

 

Secondly, as to fish, and in demonstration of just how volatile and varied Montana’s micro climates are, others on the same Blackfoot river as “Show Me” reaped a bounty The Rodgers Three (boats) had a(nother) great Blackfoot day—just a few miles above the fate of the cpa two—with Mz. Lori and Shanna Banana treating their Broke Down guide to over 30 hooked fish, including a 18” Lori bulltrout and Shanna doing the grand slam (again!) and their guide fessing up that his three days with this laughing duo was “his greatest time guiding on the river” (showing that the proffered five hours of post Two therapy will be both used and well deserved!) and with their second boat also boasting 30 boated fish, the largest being a 18” rainbow, and their third boat bringing in over 15 fish including the Yellow Hat award winning fish of the day, a 22” brown landed by papa Tim “Squawfish” Rodgers, although they saw their share of intermittent nasty weather inclusive of downed trees in the river. Big sticks Al “Good Earth” Baylacq and Zane(y) Wiley Coyote also had a big, 30 fish Blackfoot day.

 

The crews on the Bitterroot fared equally well in between thunder heads, downpours and downed trees as well. Witness Doug “Popeye” Hamilton and Brian “Deerslayer” epic day of 17, 18 , 19 and Popeye’s 20 1/2 “ rainbow under the guidance of our Double Up Outfitter John “Great But Propaneless” Gould;  the Ciatti boat duo also spanked them on the Root with dry fly action boating between them over 30 fish, as did the SS Robertson/Hurd who reported as their big haul Chris’ 23” brown (stick, that is), as did (a) the now X rated and (in)famous Caldwell husband-wife duo who reported that the longest measured fish of their day was the 31” rainbow that adorned their king sized Bunk House bed, and (b) the Miller-Pantaleo drifters who dry fly fished all day reaping at least on 18” rainbow (Tony “The Chin” reporting that while he had had no prior fishing experience in Montana he had had “the time of his life” while fishing with us).

 

All in all the Twos beat the Ones with more 20 inchers posted to the Twenty Inch board (7 vs. 5)and topped everyone in all of the previous nine Extravaganzas with the most wild of wild weather—more than 30 degree difference between Day Two and Day Three.  Capping the wild event off was the presentation to Walsh Vineyards Management of resolutions of thanks from the Montana Wildlife Federation’s board of directors for sponsoring, year after year, the Montana Matters Napa Concert (mark your calendar for Nov 3rd, 2012 for the Fourth annual such event) and, as shown above, awarding WVM a numbered copy of the Montana Matters signature poster “The Return of the Monarch”, the original of which will be auctioned off in Kalispell in tomorrow night’s Montana Matters Jack Hanna concert in Kalispell—the opening bid is already posted at $3,000 Squawfish—that original sure would look good in (y)our Blackfoot House!!

 

So ends the E-12 journey of the Tattoos…showing that, indeed, all is well that ends well!!

 

Best to all from the scene of it all and in preparation for Dem Threes!!

 

Rock Creek Ron

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